Early’s White Elephant

             At last Welland has bid farewell to Mr. Early’s mammoth hog. On this occasion Mr. Early has been fortunate. He has disposed of his hog profitably. The temperance lecturer Doutney has taken charge of his hogship for exhibition purposes, and is no doubt dreaming of skekels and nickels pouring in as the result of the venture. Mr. Early raised the 1050 lb. hog. Some time in October 1886, his hogship first looked upon life and squeaked his first squeak and grunted his first grunt, little dreaming of the glorious future in store for him. The animal being well fed and lineally descended, from ancient families of respectable grand-hogs, the Chester White and Byfield, he grew, prospered and snored. He was never neglected. His path so far has been strewn with roses. People from near and far came to see him, praised his inimitable size and general appearance, and complimented Mr. Early, while sipping their lager, upon the phenomenal hog in his possession. Not one of those gushing admirers felt like buying him, although they could all suggest ways in which Mr. Early could profitably use his hogship. Finally, the temperance lecturer, with “special methods” came around and looked at his hogship. That settled the business. Welland was too small for his hogship after that discerning speculative glance cast upon him by Mr. Doutney, of the “Doutney Temperance Movement.” He was bought at $100, and “Charlie,” his keeper, was hired at a good wage to attend him and follow his fortunes. It is to be hoped his hogship will fare better than “Charlie” at the hands of the temperance lecturer. The hog was bought and paid for and taken away, but Charlie was left and only paid 25¢ for three weeks’ waiting upon what is and was the admiration of many of his more fortunate fellow beings. When the mammoth hog left Welland he measured 7 ft 6 5/8 of an inch from snout to tail, his girth was 7 ft around the body, 5 ft around the neck, and he stood 3 ft 10 inches in his stocking feet. It was a job to move him to the station. At first Mr. James Potts, carpenter, was engaged to make a cage for his hogship. The cage measured 8 ft 6 in long by 4 ft 3 in wide, weighing 800 lbs alone. When they got him to the M.C.R. depot the cage was found to be too large to be put on any car there at the disposal of the M.C.R. Potts was again called upon and had to reduce the size of the cage to mere standing room for its occupant. Jumbo is now gone, with the good wishes of all who knew him, and of the tearful, affectionate and disappointed Charlie. Jumbo has gone to New York; Charlie is in Welland, with his future before him. Sic transit gloria mundi.

ONE WHO KNOWS

Welland, Jan. 1^st 1890

Welland Tribune

10 January 1890