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COWS ON A DRUNK
[Welland Tribune, 25 November 1898]
New York, Nov. 21-A herd of jersey cows at Newtown, N.J., raided the refuse of a cider mill yesterday and became more joyously intoxicated than college students after a football game. The herd is the property of Joseph Rushland, a farmer living not far from Lambertville.
Rushland’s cows browse in a field at the lower end of which there is a cider mill. The cider mill has been working overtime lately. Outside and along the fence are great piles of compressed apples from which the quince has been squeezed. It rained on the pressed apples on Friday and Saturday and caused them to well and soften. The cows discovered the fruit and ate freely of it.
Perosns passing the lit in the afternoon were surprised to see a generally sedate old piebald cow, with her offspring by her side, doing a “hochee-koochie” and bellowing melodiously. Other cows of the herd stood by and gazed at her reprovingly, while still others lay contentedly on the ground.
The job of taking the inebriated herd home was of sufficient excitement to live in the history of Newton. The cows behaved like a lot of men paying liquid election bets. Even a small offspring of the sedate old piebald cow was hopelessly drunk and fell down every few feet.
Rushland says the numerous stomachs of a cow make the interior of the animal a regular still when it eats apples. The milk obtained from the herd last night was thrown away.
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